We went on a tour of the Labor & Delivery floor today. Our midwife walked us through everything that was going to happen when we came in for the c-section. We even got to put gowns on and see the operating room where Julia was born. It was intense, but comforting to get as much information as possible about what would happen.
The visit left me grappling with my decision to have a c-section. The choice is up to me, and if I want to I can give birth vaginally and avoid surgery. My doctor and midwife are both supportive of my decision to have a planned c-section, but have also made it clear that I can change my mind at any point. I can't help but read the numerous studies- one showing that planned c-sections are safer, the next one saying that there is an increased chance of infant death with a planned section. Same thing with vbac's (vaginal birth after a cesaerean).
But in the end, I just don't think I can go through with natural labor. I want to go into the hospital and have the whole thing taken out of my hands. I know that none of this was my fault, but if I go through labor then a lot of it is up to me. That didn't work last time and I would never forgive myself if something were to go wrong again because of something I did. With a c-section I have to sit still for the spinal block, and then the rest is up to the doctors.
I lay awake at night thinking of what it's going to be like- lying down on that table and just waiting to see my baby. I keep reminding myself that it will be different than last time. I will be awake, Josh will be at my side, I know what to expect. But I am still terrified and just waiting for the day that I get to leave the hospital with my baby girl in my arms.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
That is a big decision to make. I know what you mean about all the added fear of natural labor. Whatever your choice, I'll be sending you my thoughts and courage.
I'm praying that whatever you choose, you can do so with peace and confidence! Blessings on you and your 2nd baby girl>
Camaron,
It's just another scary unknown that goes along with this process. There's both hope and fear - and none of it will be ok until this baby girl is here safely. You have so many people thinking about you and hoping for this baby's healthy arrival!!
Just remember that there is no right or wrong decision!
XOXO,
Sari
good to see you posting again C. My OB just called me tonight to ask if I've decided on VBAC or repeat csection. I've waffled for 6 months... and I finally told her we were going repeat. I feel like I've failed, like I'll never have "that birth"... but I honestly don't think I can go through with it. You guys are in my thoughts. It's such a huge decision. I wish it was easier.
e constraints (and the potential) of a long and narrow space, consulting renowned feng shui master Zoe Foo. 212box principals Eric Clough and Eun Sun Chun used mirrors to create infinite angles, and mirrored walls behind Gucci Bags UKtinted acrylic displays that appear to be entrances to other chambers. The space is a linear journey from the front mezzanine, which features a full wall of Louboutin's signature
iculties of various European nations.He ran a rebrand-the-Euro contest, with a volume of an intellectual property legal textbook of which he is an editor as the prize.Most of the entries were submitted tongue in cheek. Among them are "the argh," "the folly," "the pigswill," and "the ohno." Others were "the markel," which appears to be a play on the German mark and the name of German Chancellor Ang
ject matter than David Lynch, whom Louboutin met while doingGucci Bamboo Bar a magazine article on gardens, of all things. Lynch asked Louboutin not to hire skinny models but full-figured nudes and Louboutin happily complied (saying that too-thin women would evoke masochism more than fetishism). The resulting erotic pictorial explores the strong link between shoes and sexual desire.Like a palate cleanser, the end
nd yet something wasn't right. It took me a while to figure it out. It was because the sole was black. I grabbed my assistant Sarah's nail polish and painted the soles red. Thanks to the color, which acted as a revelation, theGucci Broadway Guccissima original concept completely reemerged."The shoe that sparked all the Louboutin worship, though, was the Pigalle. A black pump in shiny patent leather with a pointed toe, fiv
Post a Comment