Today I was walking on the reservoir and happened to look into the middle at the fountain shooting water into the air. For just a moment a beautiful rainbow appeared. It followed the path of the fountain and seemed to be flowing out of the water. As I watched it disappear I thought of you.
I read an article this week about losing a child, and someone was quoted as saying, "You never love your child more than at the moment of their death." It is truly a bittersweet realization, but one I treasure.
My first Mother's Day came and went. I woke up Sunday morning and imagined that you were in the other room with your dad. That any moment the two of you would come through the door with breakfast in bed. I pictured you and me lying next to each other, savoring some quiet time together. I do that a lot. It makes me sad, but as time marches on I am afraid I will forget what it means to be a mom to you. I barely remember being pregnant with you, it seems like years ago.
I might never see you again, but I will always think about what we would have been doing if you were still here. Every month, every birthday, every holiday, every occasion...I will always think about my baby girl who should be with us.
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