The Abortion Debate

Warning to Reader: I'm going controversial today...

There was an article in the Times Opinion section last week about maternal health in Malawi. The article focused on one women who almost died from a miscarriage. In the article they told how she only had a partial miscarrage and so the doctor had to "remove the products of conception to stop the bleeding." The wording of this made me cringe. I was also bothered because the focus seemed to be on how lucky this women was to be alive. While I obviously agree, there was no mention of the loss that she experienced.

I decided to read the comments on the article to see if I was the only one bothered by this. I was startled to realize that my thoughts on this issue seemed more synonymous with the pro-lifers in the comment section. After reading through the scathing comments on both sides of the fence, I wrote this,

"I know that many people think that we are missing the point of the article by focusing on “the products of conception.” But I also think that because we are bothered by this term does not mean that we are anti-choice, or that we don’t recognize that she is lucky to be alive. If you have had a miscarriage, or experienced a pregnancy loss, then this term can seem cruel. I am pro-choice, but it is a struggle to feel “lucky” when you have lost a child. And when it is a wanted pregnancy, then to those parents it is a loss. Just some food for thought. "

I have been struggling with these issues since Julia's death. It began in the hospital when I was given a death certificate but no birth certificate. I didn't understand this...I gave birth to her and she deserved a birth certificate. I wanted evidence of her life. About a week later (thanks to our midwife) we were issued a birth certificate, with apologies, and it now holds a prominent place in Julia's scrapbook. Around the same time I went on my online support group and read about all the families who were denied a birth certificate because their baby died in the womb. They carried their babies, gave birth to them, were required to bury them, but then were told their baby was not born. I did some research (having nothing else to do for 8 weeks) and realized that this was an issue that others saw as political. Greiving parents of stillborn babies were desperate for proof of their children, and seemed bewlidered that this issue was somehow becoming part of the abortion debate. As a separate article in the Times said,

"But politically, the birth-certificate laws, often referred to as “Missing Angels” bills, occupy uncertain territory, skirting the abortion debate while implicitly raising the question of fetal personhood. Many antiabortion groups say the laws fill a need for parents. But some abortion rights supporters see the push for these laws as a barely disguised political move to undermine abortion rights."

I read the words "fetal personhood" and it made me cry. Because they were able to find a feint heartbeat in my daughter and she lived for 20 minutes outside of my body, she was considered a baby. If she had died 20 minutes early-in the eyes of some-she would have been considered a fetus.

I am and will always be pro-choice, but I don't think NARAL will be using me as their poster child anytime soon. The pro-choice movement is a political organization and has no room for ambiguity-but I do. I wanted to have a baby. Whether I had lost her in the first month of pregnancy or the last, I would have mourned her loss.