Today I am impatient.
I want the school year to be over. I was not supposed to come back to work after Julia was born, so now I feel like I am just killing time. I find things to do, but I feel useless.
I want my friend who is now past due to have her baby already. The anticipation is torture.
I want to be pregnant again. But I am already tired of being told that I need to "think positive." If I don't think positive, and something happens, is it my fault? Of course not, so please don't tell me what to think.
I want Urban Baby to stop sending me e-mails. How many times do I have to tell them about Julia before they stop.
I want to be happy for all the pregnant people, but I'm just not there yet.
I want people to remember that she has only been gone for 4 1/2 months.
I want to talk about her, but there is nothing left to say.
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Memories
If we could have a lifetime wish,
A dream that would come true.
We'd pray and hope with all our hearts,
For yesterday and you.
A thousand words can’t bring you back,
We know because we tried.
Neither will a thousand tears,
We know because we've cried.
You left behind our broken hearts,
And happy memories too.
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted you.
(unknown)
1 comment:
This comment 'But I am already tired of being told that I need to "think positive."' struck a nerve. OH, how many times I've heard that, and OH how much it annoys me. It falls right in with the crooked thinking that, if one prays for good things and is a good person, God won't let anything difficult or painful happen in your life.
I hope today's an easier day for you. I'm sorry that your sweet Julia isn't in your arms right now. And go ahead and talk about her in whatever way you want, repeat yourself if you want to. I love to read what you have to say about her. She's beautiful.
Julie, Ward's mama
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