Josh looked at the tears in my eyes and said, "I know."
Hearing about someone giving birth is still hard for me. It brings back all those memories from the night of Julia's birth- the incredible euphoria followed by the most unbelievable pain. I have been able to get rid of most of my bitter and angry thoughts, but with childbirth they are still strong. I hate hearing someone complain about how long they were in labor for. I hate hearing that their birth did not go the way it should have. If you have a healthy baby, then everything went fine.
My brain knows it's not fair to think these things, but my heart can't accept that.
2 comments:
I understand how you feel- we have two friends who are both due in January so they're at the same point in their pregnancy that we were last year. I don't think I've asked them anything about the pregnancy or baby because I'm scared I'll just break down & cry. I feel like I should but I just can't bring myself to. Do you ever go between longing to hold other babies and not even being able to look at them?
Everything you say is true. Births are so incredibly difficult to hear about. The tears come, bringing with them all the joyous memories, then the grief. I don't know if birth announcements will ever get easier....
Like you, the bitter is mostly gone, but tears still flow for what I don't have.
Yes, my heart and arms ache to hold a baby, but I tremble with fear inside too.
Amy
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